ONE MORE MEGABYTE

  1. MEGA INTRO
  2. ONE MORE MEGABYTE
  3. I'M A LONELY BASTARD
  4. SHE'S A LEECH
  5. ME 'N' JOHN WILLIAMS
  6. SHE'LL BE BACK WITH KEITH SOMEDAY
  7. I'M GONNA BE 500 MILES
  8. BACHELOR BOY/WHEN GARRY MARRIED MELANIE
  9. FRED OLIVIER
  10. IN TOMMY'S HEAD
  11. BORED HOUSEWIFE
  12. THE MEMORY OF NOBBY
  13. THE DEVIL WENT DOWN TO SCUNTHORPE
  14. MEGA OUTRO




One More Megabyte

 

 

One more, one more, one more, one more…

Addict with an Apple Mac, megabyte maniac

Moron with a mouse mat, a junky

Distressed, you've guessed, obviously obsessesed

I, NEED MORE MEMORY!

He’s a prat, he’s a bore, with a word processor

Don’t disturb on the door, NO ENTRY

Mad man won't become, parted from his pentium

shot his mam just coz, she dusted and seleted DOS

Can I possibly survive, with out Windows 95

It crashes when I double click, crackin up I'm hysteric
 
 

CHORUS

ooooooooooohhh

gimme gimme gimme one more

gimme gimme gimme one more

I need another megabyte to save my sanity – one more!
 
 

Where’s he at, where’s he gone, creep with a computer on

In his room , all night long, leave me be!

Yelled when he saw, the bolt on his bedroom door

Can't take no more, life without a monitor

Don't need these, PC D T's

Achin', No fakin', I'm a sh sh sh sh shakin'
 
 

CHORUS

GUITAR BIT
 
 

Megabyte, byte byte, megabyte one more One more megabyte memory megabyte, byte byte,

megabyte one more One more mega megabyte for me
 
 

CHORUS



I'm a Lonely Bastard

 

 

Nobody loves me, nobody cares

Nobody invites me to the party – we don’t want him there

Introverted, we say

Sittin all alone each night it's so sad – he ain’t got no mates
 
 

CHORUS

Don't say a word, don't say a word, don’t say a word to me

My oh my, I just don’t know why,

Tell me why, oh why I’m a lonesome guy

Down the pub everyone stares

I’m a lonely bastard there’s

No one more, no more lonely than me

No more, no more lonely than me
 
 

Nobody calls me nobody phones

Nobody ever sent a postcard to me – I’m always alone
 
 

CHORUS

He’s a lonely bastard
 
 

CHORUS



She's a Leech

 

 

She looks so grand a one night stand maybe

I took my chance I said "let’s dance baby"

How was he to know, she would never let him go

Back at my place, in an embrace, we were

And stuck together I could never leave her

If he only knew, he’d fallen for a tube o' super glue
 
 

CHORUS

She’s a leech - she’s my shadow, she won’t let go – NA NA NA NA

She’s a leech – she’s schizophrenic, she’s magnetic –NA NA NA NA, stuck on me
 
 

Life’s been hell since she got welded to me

I go nowhere unless she’s there, ooeee

Can’t escape this one, skintight fatal attraction
 
 

CHORUS

she sucked me dry
 
 

Twas fortunate when my best mate wooed her

He’s a blockhead he’s been bonded to her

With his bird in bed, now she’s stuck on him instead…
 
 

CHORUS



She'll be back with Keith Someday

 

 

I can’t stop moping – I can’t stop crying

I just ain’t coping – don’t feel like trying

"Don’t ditch me," I cry, but this is her reply

She said "Oi mush, you've got the push goodbye…"
 
 

CHORUS

Some days, she said they’re through, I always knew she’d leave again

Some days, she lied through her teeth, she’ll be back with Keith some day
 
 

My heart is broken – jilted she blew me out

A mug once again, He's been dumped there's no doubt that
 
 

CHORUS

GUITAR BIT
 
 

She’s gone I’m alone, I must be off my head

Guess I should have known, she’s keeping Keith instead

Drop Dead!
 
 

CHORUS



I'm Gonna Be 500 Miles

 

 

When I wake up, yah I know I’m gonna be, I’m gonna be the man who wakes up next to you

When I go out, yah I know I’m gonna be, I’m gonna be the man who goes along w/ you

If I get drunk, yah I know I'm gonna be, I'm gonna be the man gets drunk next to you

If I haver, yah I know I'm gonna be, I'm gonna be the man who’s havering to you
 
 

CHORUS

And I would walk 500 miles and I would walk 500 more

To be the man who walked 1000 miles to fall down at your door
 
 

When I’m working, yes I know I’m gonna be, I’m gonna be the man who’s working hard for you

When I come home, yah I know I’m gonna be, I’m gonna be the man who comes back home to you
 
 

CHORUS
 
 

When I’m lonely, well I know I’m gonna be, I’m gonna be the man who’s lonely without you

When I’m dreaming, yes I know I’m gonna dream, I’m gonna dream about the time that I’m with you

When I go out, yes I know I'm gonna be, I'm gonna be the man who goes along with you

When I come home, yah I know I'm gonna be, I'm gonna be the man who comes back home to you

I'm gonna be the man who's coming home to you
 
 

CHORUS



Bachelor Boy / When Garry Married Melanie

 

 

When I was young my father said "Son I have something to say,"

and what he told me I’ll never forget, until my dying day. He said, "Son you are a bachelor boy

and that’s the way to stay, son you are a bachelor boy…"

-huh- I wish I was a bloody bachelor boy
 
 

A happy ba-che-lor was he,

But he ain’t no more, Gormless Garry

Us he ditched, when he got hitched to a witch and a bitch called... Melanie

Who’s that then? – Garry, who? - Garry

Slouched on the couch with that cow,

There ain’t any doubt there’s no escape

Now off his head, contented

Instead he wed, Melanie
 
 

CHORUS

He said, "I only wanted to stay young"

But the silly sucker, flung his life away

"I only wanted to be free"

and he took no notice o' me

and it’s all over now -huh- for Garry
 
 

The bag nagged Gaz to have a kid

The most gormless thing Garry ever did

Stuck in a rut, he knows he’s a nut, with a pain in the butt called Melanie
 
 

CHORUS

GUITAR BIT
 
 

Off his head, off his tree

Garry was a sucker when he married Melanie
 
 

CHORUS



Fred Olivier

 

 

Don’t want to be Sylvester Stallone – don’t push me

Never never gonna star in "Home Alone"

Hamlet, MacBeth, I’m crazy for King Lear

There’s nothing more exciting than reciting Shakespeare
 
 

CHORUS

Fred Olivier, to be or not to be

Fred Olivier, I want my equity
 
 

Don’t want to go to Hollywood

I sit alone and live the bard

I quote Othello and I me feel weak

I’m the only one who understands what I speak
 
 

CHORUS

take it away Shakey!!!

GUITAR BIT
 
 

I tread the boards till it made me scream

But it was only a Midsummer Nights Dream,

There’s more to life than a Shakespearean clone

All I want is fame and fortune
 
 

CHORUS



In Tommy's Head

 

 

"I’m so glad" he tells me and you, "It’s so sad" we know it ain’t true lies…

Oooh, in Tommy’s head

He told me, "I’m head over heels," a phoney

We know how he feels, the torment that he feels…
 
 

CHORUS

In Tommy’s head, he can’t believe

In Tommy’s head, she had to leave

In Tommy’s head, he’ll always yearn

In Tommy’s head, she will return
 
 

" I don’t mind," happy, so he seems

We ain’t blind – we know what he dreams – what he always dreams
 
 

CHORUS

…and he just can’t hide, that feeling inside Tommy

GUITAR BIT

CHORUS



Bored Housewife

 

 

He tells me, "we’re happy," he could never guess

He's a berk, while he's at work, she’s an adult t t t t t tress
 
 

GUITAR BIT

She’s a bored, bored housewife – in the cul-de-sac

She’s a bored, bored housewife - she’s a nymphomaniac

She’s a bored, bored housewife - a floozy in fact very... bored
 
 

It don’t hurt, to have a flirt

But she’s a jeze b b b b b bel, yes

She's a bored BORED housewife, a floozy in fact really.

She’s a randy swine who swears

"I don’t have clandestine affairs" I’m bored, bored, bored, bored, bored!

He’s a pratt, we know that – his missus is, his missus is a WHORE!

"come up and see me sometime"
 
 

CHORUS



The Memory of Nobby

 

Makes me grin makes me laugh too

makes me sad makes me blue

when I remember Nobby who,

danced a jig for me and you

to see the smiles of Nobby Styles at Wembley
 
 

I weren't no football fan till he

a dwarf came dribbling, on TV

Mesmerized by the mastery of wee nimble Nobby

just a dream it all seemed so far away

the World Cup theme, and Nobby's team both play
 
 

CHORUS

Nobby, in our memory

hear them yell and hear them call

Nobby, in our memory

hear them bellow and hear them roar

ooooooohh, the memory, of Nobby lives on
 
 

we stayed home that day to see England vs Germany

always in the memory, the soccer styles of Nobby

to feel the thrills from his skills, was uncanny

Nobby still, sends a chill through me
 
 

CHORUS



The Devil Went Down To Scunthorpe

 

 

The devil went down to Scunthorpe, looking for a soul to steal

In a bind an' way behind he was willin' to make a deal.

When he came across this young man pickin' on a guitar, playing it hot an'

An' the devil jumped on a hickory stump an' said 'I'll tell ya what'

I guess you didn't know it, I'm a guitar player too,

and if you care to take a dare I'll make a bet with you.

Now you play a real good guitar boy, but give the devil his due,

I'll bet a guitar of gold to get your soul 'cause i think i'm better than you.

The boy said my name's Johnny, it might be a sin, i'll take your bet

You're gonna regret, I'm the best I've ever been.
 
 

Johnny risen up your pick an' play your guitar hard

'cause hell's broke loose in Scunthorpe an' the devil deals the cards.

Now if you win you'll get this shinny guitar made of gold,

but if you loose the devil gets your soul!
 
 

GUITAR BIT
 
 

The devil opened up his case and said 'i'll start this gig'

and fire flew from his finger tips as he risened up his pick.

He strummed the pick across the strings it made an evil hiss

Then a band of demons joined in and it sounded somthing like this
 
 

GUITAR BIT
 
 

When the devil finished Johnny said 'You're pretty good ol' son,

but sit down in that chair right there let me show you how it's done!'
 
 

CHORUS

Fire on the mountain run boy's run!

Devil's in the house of the risen sun!

Chicken in the bread pan picken out dough!

Ready says you don't fight, no child, no!

Let's go!
 
 

GUITAR BIT
 
 

The devil bowed his head because he knew that he'd been beat,

and he laid that golden guitar on the ground at Johnny's feet.

Johnny said 'devil come on back if you ever want to try again,

and I told you once you son of a bitch i'm the best I've ever been!'
 
 

CHORUS

GUITAR BIT



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