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1.Mum Changed The Locks
2.Mr Charisma
3.There's Your Dad
4.Racist
5.Ship of Beers
6.Be Still My Beating Off
7.I Hate My Brain
8.The Ballad Of Tim Webster
9.U.S.Anus
10.Constable Care
11.(That's) Just Not Legal
12.Hakimashita
13.Genitals Are Funny
14.All Your Friends
15.Beaded Curtains (part 2)
16.Beaded Curtains (part 3)
17.Guns Don't Kill Ducklings (ducklings kill ducklings)
18.You Cant Move Into My House
MUM CHANGED THE LOCKS
returning home, i look forward to the thrill of another lecture or
another pointless drill. ascend the front steps dreading further war why
the fuck is my key not fitting in the door? i guess i'm not wanted, i wonder
what i'll do i've already been banned from my friends houses too. i wonder
what i did to make my mum so mad no perfect home life but the only one
i had. oh my god, mum changed the locks. now i've got my freedom but no
place to go no prospects or money to go to a show. i haven't got on well
with my mum all year can't use the phone to call my friends for a beer
MR. CHARISMA
when he walks into the room men sit up and women swoon everybody murmers
"he's here" he's the most important guy never stop to wonder why he's always
got so much to say he's so cool, he makes the rules many witty anecdotes
one day he will surely choke on a story far away he's so cool he'll never
die, makes us laugh and makes us cry if only he'd promised to stay home
he's the man he's the man for us he's mr., mr. charisma we see him every
other day, he's another world away we could hang with him all the time
he's too perfect to be true, i can doubt but so would you patiently i'm
waiting to find out what's behind....that sickly smile he's mr., mr. charisma
well i went to your brother but your brother lied he said what you see
on the outside is what you get inside i said, i'd like to believe it but
i have my doubts and i think he might be evil but i wouldn't want to shout
about it he's so strange he's quite deranged he's mr., mr. charisma
THERE'S YOUR DAD
we're on line and we're fine but we're out of time not a crime, it's
a sign by the grace of god goes i could it be that you see one of your
family insanity affecting the paternity of your family tree there's your
dad look at him over there, he's looking sad. getting round, round the
town, now you're going down to that place it's the case you barely recognise
the face there he is, looking in to the garbage bin with a grin, he's not
so thin. could it be, that it's plain to see... a lobotomy there's your
dad look at him over there, he's looking sad. there's your dad why don't
you go and talk to him, he's not that bad dad if you haven't the time when
he's running wild to to confide in the man that has got the master plan
well you won't be alone you'll have kids of your own and then what's to
be said when you have to rest your head on a newspaper bed
RACIST
i get tired of finding out, that what you think is given in the best
relationships is just a pile of shit well i get tired of finding out that
what you take for granted is thrown back in your face sometimes it seems
too late. to educate when there's a national debate, on an issue that appears
to be so straight-forward and you say it's alright, but it's not alright,
it's not alright. to ignore is to condone it if you think about it don't
shut up. you might as well be speaking at the next one nation meeting.
and every time you have a pointless dickhead relating another unfunny ignorant
joke based on pigment you should say that belongs in yesterday. start today
you can say it's not ok, don't go along for the ride well it's not too
late for you to say when they say that it's alright well it's not alright,
it's not alright some of my best friends are racist. i'm not racist but...
i get tired of finding out that what you take for granted is thrown back
into your face. what a fucking waste. please don't feed me that old bullshit
of the whispering of the soul, you must be dreaming coz my soul is screaming
to shut up you reactionary fuck
SHIP OF BEERS
i've never been the type to travel on the sea without at least a pint
to keep me company never in my dreams did i imagine that a vessel of this
nature existed for our pleasure, it's so hard to believe that we will embark
and to sail the open seas all the while we will be accompanied by a sense
of well-being and a million lagers sail away on this ship of beers the
sea is getting rough, but we're oblivious to the danger of the savage force
of this tremendous raging beast, we're lying down below and dreaming of
the land where the trees are shaped like cans and we're wholly confident
of this craft and our inevitable descent along with the crew and captain
i suspect are sinking down into a drunken stupor. sail away something must
be wrong the sea is very angry now it won't be long 'till davy jones can
claim me - hopefully he'll fell like a cleansing ale after all he's only
human. sail away on this ship of beers
BE STILL MY BEATING OFF
if it's easier to discuss this privately without you dad the minister
who doesn't take kindly to your pursuits then i'll oblige. was it you that
was found with your pants down watching your favourite cartoon yelling
at the shopkeeper for the changing of the channel say to your self: "be
still my beating off" well it may be inappropriate for someone in your
position as a cop to satisfy yourself at the local blue light disco say
to yourself: "be still my beating off" there's no crime when you choose
your time and your place to masturbate in a public place you will be disgraced,
it's your right to choose whether or not you want to be on the news. well
i'm sure the judge will look lightly on your case considering i saw him
earlier at the footy having a quick one off the wrist then say to yourself:
"be still my beating off"
I HATE MY BRAIN
some people say that your brain is a product if i bought it today i
would take it back tomorrow so many defects and faults sometimes i wish
i didn't need one at all because i hate my brain. when ignorance gets a
hold of your neurones then it's not hard to be tempted by its bliss its
easy to get annoyed when you focus on one thing until it almost disappears.
i hate my brain. some people say that your brain is your master not your
mind or your soul, it is what you have to follow, i guess i'll try to find
some common ground so we can get along. i said: i hate my brain.
THE BALLAD OF TIM WEBSTER
you remind me of a god you are my hero an authority on all and sundry,
it's remarkable your depth of knowledge but there's something wrong with
your eyes. what are they protecting you from there's something wrong with
your eyelids.
U.S.ANUS
well we live in a nation where nike shoes and pepsi cans are breeding
like cancerous cells it's not hard to believe it and it's hard to ignore
it when our governments get on so well, well well.... u.s.anus if you don't
want to face it then you'll have to embrace it like the virus of that big
golden sign. it's the great open market if we're good we'll get rewarded
with some lunch money and a chance to buy, we've got to buy or say goodbye.
u.s.anus when we go down, down, down, to that distinctive sound of the
universe when ready to blow we can be safe in the knowledge of that flag
saluting protection 'cause we'll almost be the first to go, the first to
go u.s.anus
CONSTABLE CARE
i thought you were by my side before i had to run and hide from the
caring constabulary they're there to protect you and me how can you be
justified making money from people's lives we don't believe in what you
say you broke my arm/legs but that's o.k. i got the fuck kicked out of
me by constable care
(THAT'S) JUST NOT LEGAL
i turn on the t.v. as switch off my head it's almost like bad fiction
i have already read, well i think i'll come around and shoot your parents
instead. but then i'd go to gaol and i don't like being cooped up inside.
i may have lost my self-respect but i've still got my pride. i would steal
a car but i don't know how to drive. the common law that binds us and that
keeps us in place is often misconstrued as a god-awful waste and it starts
to unwind with a kick in the face. legal. that's just not. i would take
a cricket bat to a jewellery store that's if i had a spine and it was within
the law i would give you the keys to the whole shopping mall. i would take
a cash machine and run down the street that's if i had some muscles and
was quick on my feet i'm afraid it's a fact that i'm inherently weak and
that's just not legal. i turn on the t.v. as i switch of my head i wonder
should i go out or just rot here in bed or i could burn down a school just
to show that i cared senseless acts of violence are not really my game
i'm much too scared of getting caught or even worse-maimed and to swim
with no arms well it's just not the same. that's just not legal.
HAKIMASHITA
i have been feeling below par and i can not even find the green i'm
feeling under the weather that is to say it's on top of me. i don't feel
good today i can't help it anyway. i can not help my emissions even if
maybe they're a social faux pas gastronomical extradition's i shouldn't
have spent all my time in the bar. hakimashita, i've soiled myself again.
my stomachs subsiding it's about time i'm thinking of returning to duty
now hang on i'm sure that's such a good idea i might return to the bowl,
i don't feel good today i can't help it anyway hakimashita. language has
never been much a barrier when it applies to this there's not many misunderstandings
that arise following a vomit kiss.
GENITALS ARE FUNNY
there are some things in nature like giraffes when they're having sex
that are so funny, it's plain to see. some people take offence but my friend
darwin agrees with me that god has no might and science is right. and we're
supposedly on top of the evolutionary scale most things seem to have them
from an insect to a whale. genitals are funny, they're so funny. some people
of the moral christian right they fail to see the joke when adam and eve
removed their fig leaves. the holocaust would have turned out incredibly
differently if on that dark night hitler was pantsed on sight. and if you
can't understand or read the humour in what i just wrote why don't you
take a long hard look at some testes or a scrote (um) genitals are funny,
they're so funny. ---middle bit--- some folk amusement from the telling
of sexist jokes, they think they're a clown while they put people down.
why is it that what we're born with is perceived as awfully crude, would
anything be rude if we were always nude. it's the great equaliser, it renders
us the same and there's nothing quite as humorous as pushing up the brain.
genitals are funny, they're so funny (*4)
ALL YOUR FRIENDS
kicking & fighting that's what you know, the way you're treated
only goes to show. that your popularity is all in your head, it's in your
head. no-one came round to your house today, the phone doesn't ring, you
think that's o.k. it must be the weather or they had to go & visit
their grand mother instead. all your friends think you're a fuckhead a
good paranoia is what you lack your friends always talking behind your
back. of course it has nothing to do with the simple fact that nothing
you say is of any worth. there's always a challenge to see who leaves first.
someone should tell you but we're all way too afraid, to say that all your
friends think you're a fuckhead you thought that they were friends that
you would never lose, why you're so charismatic when you're on the booze
sometimes your friends behavior is so difficult to excuse. to pay your
bills on time well that wouldn't do, you don't take your library books
'till they're overdue-it's the only way that you will ever get a letter
to come to you- all your friends think you're a fuckhead.
BEADED CURTAINS (PART 1)
no lyrics
BEADED CURTAINS (PART 2)
no lyrics
GUNS DON'T KILL DUCKLINGS (DUCKLINGS
KILL DUCKLINGS)
when you see that feathered friend better get out of the way, especially
if they're packing a piece better arm yourself today. it's us or them have
to stop them in their tracks, always keep watching your back. it's time
to kill not a time to die so load your weapons now, there's a dark cloud
on the skyline better shoot those suckers down. they're out to get you,
you'd better be first. give them what they deserve. guns don't kill duckling,
ducklings kill ducklings stop them all they will destroy our whole society,
guns don't kill duckling, ducklings kill ducklings they're the biggest
threat to your masculinity. it's not a sport if the other team doesn't
want to play. need to lend a helping gun don't let them get away. pick
on someone with a limited i.q. start shooting at someone like you. guns
etc. they're here to start the fight look in your sights what do you see?
is it the innocence you call the enemy or is it a sad reflection on your
capacity to deal with your fucked up inbred violent tendencies.
YOU CAN'T MOVE INTO MY HOUSE
hope you don't think i'm rude fuck you hope you don't think i'm precious
fuck you hope you see i'm well adjusted: i can't stand the sight of you
don't wanna be starting something don't want to antagonise, all i said
was something simple: i can't stand the sight of you, i can't stand the
sight of you. don't believe, don't believe the words i don't believe all
the things i've heard about you. i will be saying this in your defence:
i'd rather eat a fridge full of arses than know you. and i've tried with
all my might to see past all you failing but i've failed to give a fuck
you're a fuck-up, you're a joke, you're a clown, take your pants down,
get fucked you fucking fuckwit no you can't move into my house. with a
range of ethics that are quite perverse you're sitting in the centre of
your own universe not content to sit upon the fence, you'll fall either
way ignoring common sense i look into your eyes and seen a haze of your
twisted sensibilities and little saving grace. ---chorus--- i believe,
i believe the words, of your best friend when he likened you to a steaming
turd. and when he said he wished that you were dead, it was the most intelligent
thing that anyone's ever said. and i've tried with all my might to see
past all your failings but i failed to give a fuck
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