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1.Police Truck
2.Too Drunk to Fuck
3.California Uber Alles
4.The Man with the Dogs
5.Insight
6.Life Sentence
7.A Child and his Lawnmower
8.Holiday in Cambodia
9.I Fought the Law
10.Night of the Living Rednecks
11.Saturday Night Holocaust
12.Pull My Strings
13.Short Songs
14.Straight A's
15.Kinky Sex Makes the World Go 'Round
16.The Prey
17.Buzzbomb from Pasadena
POLICE TRUCK
tonight's the night that we got the truck we're goin' downtown gonna
beat up drunks your turn to drive i'll bring the beer it's the late, late
shift no one to fear and ride, ride how we ride we ride, lowride it's roundup
time where the good whores meet gonna drag one screaming off the street
and ride, ride how we ride got a black uniform and a silver badge playin'
cops for real/playin' cops for pay let's ride, lowride pull down your dress
here's a kick in the ass let's beat you blue 'til you shit in your pants
don't move, child got a big black stick there's six of us babe, so suck
on my dick and ride, ride how we ride let's ride, lowride the left newspapers
might whine a bit but the guys at the station they don't give a shit dispatch
calls "are you doin' something wicked?" "no siree, jack, we're just givin'
tickets" as we ride, ride, how we ride let's ride, lowride
TOO DRUNK TO FUCK
went to a party i danced all night i drank 16 beers and i started up
a fight but now i am jaded you're out of luck i'm rolling down the stairs
too drunk to fuck too drunk to fuck too drunk to fuck too drunk, to fuck
i'm too drunk, too drunk, too drunk to fuck i like your stories i love
your gun shooting out truck tires sounds like loads and loads of fun but
in my room wish you were dead you ball like the baby in eraserhead too
drunk to fuck too drunk to fuck too drunk, to fuck it's all i need right
now too drunk to fuck too drunk to fuck too drunk to fuck too drunk, to
fuck i'm sick soft gooey and cold too drunk to fuck i'm about to drop my
head's a mess the only salvation is i'll never see you again you give me
head it makes it worse take out your fuckin' retainer put it in your purse
i'm too drunk to fuck you're to drunk to fuck too drunk to fuck it's all
i need right now oh baby i'm melting like an ice cream bar oh baby and
now i got diarrhea too drunk to fuck yeah, yeah yeah, yeah yeah, yeah oooohhh...
CALIFORNIA ÜBER ALLES
i am governor jerry brown my aura smiles and never frowns soon i will
be president carter power will soon go away i will be fuhrer one day i
will command all of you your kids will meditate in school california über
alles über alles california zen fascists will control you 100% natural
you will jog for the master race and always wear the happy face close your
eyes, can't happen here big bro' on white horse is near the hippies won't
come back you say mellow out or you will pay california über alles
über alles california now it is 1984 knock knock at your front door
it's the suede/denim secret police they have come for your uncool neice
come quitely to the camp you'd look nice as a drawstring lamp don't you
worry, it's only a shower for your clothes here's a pretty flower die on
organic poison gas serpent's egg's already hatched you will crack, you
little clown when you mess with president brown california über alles
über alles california
THE MAN WITH THE DOGS
i am no one but i'm well known for i am the man with the dogs i stare
at you shopping watch while you're walking two dogs run around your toes
you turn around two eyes break you down "now, who does that guy think he's
starin' at?" stop in your tracks you're being laughed at you armored ego
is nude and i do and i do crack up 'cos i'm getting to you i see you i
see you and you're pretty self-conscious too down to your church i'm looking
for victims spell of the man with the dogs i'll haunt you and follow you
to work that ghost is back again creep into you i won't go away you're
taking yourself too seriously i smile as you frown and turn to walk away
your habits for all to see i see a shrew i see you and the rodent things
you do you see you i see you and you're pretty self-conscious too and i'm
gonna crack your mask yeah and i'm gonna laugh open wide.... saw you again
you'll see me tomorrow curse of the man with the dogs you may not like
me you won't forget me not safe even in walgreen's they've seen me ask
your friends 'oh i know him' seen but i'm never heard by your lot a stare
is worth a thousand biting phrases see how stupid you are? i dare you i
dare you to erase my laser tattoo you see you you see you and you're pretty
self-conscious too and i'm gonna crack your mask yeah, and i'm gonna laugh
what's inside? is it pubic hair is it cobweb air i bet you just don't care...
IN-SIGHT
who's that kid in the back of the room who's that kid in the back of
the room he's setting all his papers on fire he's setting all his papers
on fire where did he get that crazy smile where did he get that crazy smile
we all think he's really weird we all think he's really weird chorus we
never talk to him he never looks quite right he laughs at us we just beat
him up what he sees escapes our sight we never see him with the girls we
never see him with the girls he's talking to himself again he's talking
to himself again why doesn't he want tons of friends why doesn't he want
tons of friends says he's bored when we hang around says he's bored when
we hang around chorus we're all planning our careers we're all planning
our careers we're all planning our careers he says we're growing old...
LIFE SENTENCE
you used to be a partner in crime now you say you ain't got the time
gotta get serious, gotta plan gotta pass those entrance exams oh my god
it's senior year all you care about is your career chorus it's a life sentence
it's a life sentence it's a life sentence it's a life sentence you're squelching
your emotions all you talk about is old times you don't do what you want
to but you do the same thing everyday no sense of humor but such good manners
now you're an adult you're boring chorus the walls are closing in you stayed
too long in school i'd rather stay a child and keep my self-respect if
being an adult means being like you are you really you you you you you
you you you you are you really you? no you're a chained-up dog fenced in
a yard don't see much, you can't go far pace and froth, you're getting
sick run too fast and it'll snap your neck you say you'll break out but
you never do you're just another ant in the hill that's your life sentence
A CHILD AND HIS LAWNMOWER
some clown in sacramento was dragged into court he shot his lawnmower
it disobeyed, it wouldn't start might makes right, it's the american way(r)
they fined him $60 and sent him on his way you know, some people don't
take no shit maybe if they did they'd have half a brain left
HOLIDAY IN CAMBODIA
so you been to school for a year or two and you know you've seen it
all in daddy's car thinkin' you'll go far back east your type don't crawl
play ethnicky jazz to parade your snazz on your five grand stereo braggin
that you know how the niggers feel cold and the slums got so much soul
it's time to taste what you most fear right guard will not help you here
brace yourself, my dear it's a holiday in cambodia it's tough kid, but
it's life it's a holiday in cambodia don't forget to pack a wife your a
star-belly sneech you suck like a leech you want everyone to act like you
kiss ass while you bitch so you can get rich but your boss gets richer
on you well you'll work harder with a gun in your back for a bowl of rice
a day slave for soldiers til you starve then your head skewered on a stake
now you can go where people are one now you can go where they get things
done what you need my son... is a holiday in cambodia where people dress
in black a holiday in cambodia where you'll kiss ass or crack pol pot,
pol pot, pol pot, pol pot etc. and it's a holiday in cambodia where you'll
do what you're told a holiday in cambodia where the slums got so much soul
I FOUGHT THE LAW (AND I WON)
drinkin' beer in the hot sun i fought the law and i won i needed sex
and i got mine i fought the law and i won the law don't mean shit if you've
got the right friends that's how the country's run twinkies are the best
friend i've ever had i fought the law and i won i blew george & harvey's
brains out with my six-gun i fought the law and i won gonna write my book
and make a million i fought the law and i won i'm the new folk hero of
the ku klux klan my cop friends think that's fine you can get away with
murder if you've got a badge i fought the law and i won i am the law so
i won
NIGHT OF THE LIVING REDNECKS
ray's guitar broke. no, we won't play rawhide, won't play anything.
we'll play the theme from the dinah shore show. who wants to be dinah shore?
who's alter-ego is dinah shore? oh, his fists didn't go up so quickly this
time. yawn...yawn..yawn. put those headphones on, it's be-bop time. i want
to tell you a story about the last time i was in portland. the night before
we played at the long goodbye. i was walking on the street about 10:30
at night. a lot of people go to bed around here at 10:30 at night. and
well, i was walking along when suddenly these jocks in this bright blue
pickup drove up. it had kc lights, tractor tires, everything but the cb.
it was a life-size hot wheels car for some dumb rich kid, right. well,
they drove up to me and they yelled what dumb rich kids usually yell, "hey,
faggot," and showered me with some water. so, i stood there thinking, what
a bunch of fuckheads and picked up a rock. now, i waited, walked down about
a block to where the kentucky fried chicken is, on burnside, and sure enough
they drove around again. they said, "hey, faggot, where's the nearest mcdonald's?"
i said, "i don't know" and they squirted me again. so i threw the rock
and put a nice-size dent in their giant hot wheels car. they screached
to a halt in the parking lot of some department store, who's name i don't
remember, it's up the street from fred meyer, and they got out their clubs
and they ran after me, yelling, "we're gonna kill you, you god damn faggot,
we're gonna kill you, you motherfucker." so i got in a phonebooth by the
kentucky fried chicken on burnside, held my legs straight out like this
so they couldn't open the door to the phonebooth. so they began charging
the phonebooth, beating on it with their club, yelling, "we're gonna kill
you, you motherfucker, we're gonna kill you, you god damn faggot." i just
looked at them. so, there was a crowd gathering by this time and these
kids were standing nearby and they said, "oh, look at him, he's insane."
i thought, ah-hah, here's my way out. i yelled at them, "take me to a mental
hospital right away. i wanna be be put away. please put me away, c'mon,
call the cops and put me away. please put me away now." they said, "alright,
faggot, we're calling the police." so they called the police. the cop comes
out and i go, ah, my savior, i'm away from these jocks. he opens up the
door, "get out of there, you," throws me up against the car, frisks me,
shoves me in the back. then he goes over to the jocks, "now what happened
here? it looks like we're going have to take him to jail but we got to
have the full story first" so the jocks, who had an ace in the hole, ace
in the hole [take down on the bass, a little bit down on the bass. yeah],
ace in the hole, and they go, "well, goddammit, the motherfucker put a
dent in my truck, a $5000 truck, right, so i got my club, i went out and
i wanted to kill him. i want to kill him. let me kill him, goddammit. let
me kill him." so the cop made them go home, and he drove me home, and he
confiscated their club and my rock as further evidence. and i thought,
so this is oregon, huh? tolerent oregon? ray, are you done with your guitar
yet? he isn't done yet. so what else do you want to hear, i'm out of stories.
that's a true story, too. just ask bruce loose.
SATURDAY NIGHT HOLOCAUST
there's a prefab building and a funny smell around the hill outside
of town every now and then we wonder but we shrug our shoulders and get
back to work... there's a railroad there and trains go by and there's people
locked in cattle cars and have you noticed the french fries at the a&w
taste a little strange? i drive down to the disco pompadour and pink lammé
i bow and blow the doorman he parts the chain, says join the game a quick
line in the girls room to the bar for the electrodes a coin into the right
slits tape my temple watch me go now i want your perfect barbie-doll lips
and i want your perfect barbie-doll eyes slip my fingers down your barbie-doll
dress up and down your spandex ass if i lit a match for you you'd melt
before my eyes c'mere my pretty glow-worm you look so fine to dance with
me the fly-eye lights are throbbin' i'm burning up the floor whirling twirling
close my eyes no faces judging me but i want your perfect barbie-doll lips
and i want your perfect barbie-doll eyes slip my fingers down your barbie-doll
dress up and down your spandex ass a hitler youth in jogging suit smiling
face banded 'round his arm says, 'line up, you've got work to do we need
dog food for the poor' a scream bleats out, we're herded into lines customized
vans wait outside i'm getting scared of my new home to auschwitz condominiums
we go oh no now i want your perfect barbie-doll lips and i want your perfect
barbie-doll eyes let my fingers down your dress one more time...
PULL MY STRINGS
i'm tired of self respect i can't afford a car i wanna be a prefab
superstar i wanna be a tool don't need no soul wanna make big money playing
rock and roll i'll make my music boring i'll play my music slow i ain't
no artist, i'm a business man no ideas of my own i won't offend or rock
the boat just sex and drugs and rock and roll drool, drool, drool, drool,
drool, drool my payola! drool, drool, drool, drool, drool, drool my payola!
you'll pay ten bucks to see me on a fifteen foot high stage fatass bouncers
kick the shit out of kids who try to dance if my friends say i've lost
my guts i'll laugh and say that's rock and roll but there's just one problem...
chorus is my cock big enough is my brain small enough for you to make me
a star give me a toot, i'll sell you my soul pull my strings and i'll go
far and when i'm rich and meet bob hope we'll shoot some golf and shoot
some dope is my cock big enough? is my brain small enough? repeat chorus,
etc. etc.
SHORT SONGS
i like short songs (x13)
STRAIGHT A'S
sixteen, on the honor roll i wish that i was dead parents hate me,
i got zits and bruises 'round my head pressure's on to get good grades
so i can be like them do my homework all the time i can't go out just then
people they ain't friends at all they tease and suck me dry yell at me
when i fuck up and party while i cry i look so big on paper i feel so fucking
small wanna die and you don't care just stride on down the hall suicide
suicide read the paper, wonder why turn the light out, then you cry it's
your fault, you made me die touch me won't you touch me now so frozen i
can't love when i was born my mama cried and picked me up with gloves girls,
they kick me in the eye want answers to the tests when they get them they
drive off and leave me home to rest hold my head make me warm tell me i
am loved give me hope let me cry make me feel give me touch the window's
broken bleeding screaming lying in the hall i'm gone no one remembers me
a picture on the wall "he was such a bright boy the future in his hands..."
-or a spineless human pinball shot around by your demands suicide suicide
goin' to sleep and when i die you'll look up and realize then look down
and wipe your eyes then go back to your stupid lives aw shit
KINKY SEX MAKES THE WORLD GO 'ROUND
greetings...this is the secretary of war at the state department of
the united states...we have a problem. the companies want something done
about this sluggish world economic situation...profits have been running
a little thin lately and we need to stimulate some growth...now we know
there's an alarmingly high number of young people roaming around in your
country with nothing to do but stir up trouble for the police and damage
private property. it doesn't look like they'll ever get a job...it's about
time we did something constructive with these people...we've got thousands
of 'em here too. they're crawling all over...the companies think it's time
we all sit down, have a serious get-together-and start another war...the
president? he loves the idea! all those missiles streaming overhead to
and fro...napalm...people running down the road, skin on fire...the soviets
seem up for it...the kremlin's been itching for the real thing for years.
hell, afghanistan's no fun...so whadya say?...we don't even have to win
this war. we just want to cut down on some of this excess population...now
look. just start up a draft; draft as many of those people as you can.
we'll call up every last youngster we can get our hands on, hand 'em some
speed, give 'em an hour or two to learn how to use an automatic rifle and
send 'em on their way...libya? el salvador? how 'bout northern ireland?
or a "moderately repressive regime" in south america?...we'll just cook
up a good soviet threat story in the middle east-we need that oil...we
had libya all ready to go and colonel khadafy's hit squad didn't even show
up. i tell ya...that man is unreliable. the kremlin had their fingers on
the button just like we did for that one...now just think for a minute-we
can make this war so big-so big...the more people we kill in this war,
the more the economy will prosper...we can get rid of practically everybody
on your dole queue if we plan this right. take every loafer on welfare
right off our computer rolls...now don't worry about demonstrations-just
pump up your drug supply. so many people have hooked themselves on heroin
and amphetamines since we took over, it's just like vietnam. we had everybody
so busy with lsd they never got too strong. kept the war functioning just
fine...it's easy. we've got our college kids so interested in beer they
don't even care if we start manufacturing germ bombs again. put a nuclear
stockpile in their back yard, they wouldn't even know what it looked like...so
how 'bout it? look-war is money. the arms manufacturers tell me unless
we get our bomb factories up to full production the whole economy is going
to collapse...the soviets are in the same boat. we all agree the time has
come for the big one, so whadya say?!?...that's excellent. we knew you'd
agree...the companies will be very pleased.
THE PREY
you're from out of town i can tell that by your shoes flew in for the
convention getting tipsy in a bar you're leaving pretty late gotta get
up in the morning thinking she's just too expensive and you know you're...
probably... right there's no one on the streets and you can't find your
hotel you walk a little faster -someone's following you the wallet-size
bulge in your double-knit butt has money for me and maybe credit cards
you dart around the next corner you can't look around quick now, fish for
the keys for the door you don't even know where you are you walk a little
faster i walk a little faster sensing that i sense you now there's no escape
i can almost taste your dandruff as i reach for your face -and i strike
BUZZBOMB FROM PASADENA
buzzbomb buzzbomb macho-mobile the road's my slave, that's how i feel
i cruise alone, i cruise real far shoo young punk! i love my car cross
nevada at a 110 highway 50 and there's nobody there sign says, 'next sign
30 miles!'... my pension comes- each penny saved buys more escape from
home i'd rather carouse around all day than move into a home plow through
rest area san-o-lets splat goes the lonely salesman still wanking in the
men's room... buzzbomb buzzbomb tape up loud lawrence welk cranked up to
10 faster faster in my car buzzbomb is my pride and joy king of the trailer
court waiting for a nice young man who'll love me for my car who tells
me why i'm cool tells me just what i like when i pretend he's here shred
through palm springs across the golf course cops 'round here scratching
their heads flashing sirens, state patrol...uh oh they're scuffing up the
side of my car they're shooting out my tires this ain't no way to go to
heaven buzzbomb cornered at the 7-11
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